Dancing with Princesses

On Saturday, October 9th I got to dance with princesses.

It started out as a normal day for us - “hurry up and wait.” I sat with Martha and Pastor Charles and others as we waited. I loved when Kelly pulled Pastor Edward and me aside to get our picture together. We laughed as she snapped pictures, and I haven’t seen them yet but I know that I’m going to love them. It’s amazing the bond that you can have with someone halfway around the world.

On the way back to the second village, we stopped at Pastor Godfrey’s house and picked up his wife, Mama Joy, and three of his sons – Emma, Joshua, and Joseph. You have never met cuter, sweeter boys in your life. I promise. Joshua sat next to me, and I don’t know how we got on the subject, but he said something about how he was very big. “Very fat” were his actual words, and he said “See, I’m almost as big as you.” I asked him if that meant that I was fat, and he said simply “Not very.” Not very. :-) I love their honesty.

Pastor Edward sat on the other side of me, and he let me ask him questions about his life. He told me that he gets $5/week from the church. Five dollars a week. That’s twenty dollars a month. I asked him how much it costs him to take care of his family every month, and he told me that it costs about three hundred dollars. Three hundred versus twenty. It doesn’t take an accountant like to me to figure out that it doesn’t add up. I asked him how he made up the difference. I’ve sent him money since last year, but not enough to make up the difference between three hundred dollars and twenty dollars every month. He said that he buys on credit when he can. He told me, though, that a while back he literally had no food for his family. He went to Pastor Godfrey, who gave him some food so that his family wouldn’t starve. Not so that they could eat what they wanted. They needed food to keep from dying. I pray that they never find themselves in that situation again, but it breaks my heart. I have friends who have faced starvation and have worried about feeding their children. I didn’t know what to say to him, but I held his hand and told him that I was sorry.

When we got to the village, there were a LOT of children waiting for us. The day before, Pastor Edward had told all of the children assembled that they all needed to bring 3 friends with them the next day. When we pulled up on the bus, it definitely looked like they had listened!

Since there were so many kids, we decided to split up the older and younger kids again. Tonja, Mary, and I took the older kids. Tonja told the Jesus story as Pastor Edward interpreted for her, and then I shared the Gospel. I think that at least 15-20 kids got saved! Pastor Edward was excited and made them hold up their hands and said “Look at all of these ones who have prayed!” Webale Jesu! (Thank you, Jesus!) After the stories, we played "friend, friend, go," and then did the hokey pokey – both resulting in lots of loud laughter!

Kelly came up to me before lunch, and told me that there was a little boy named Juma who had joined our group after I had shared the Gospel. His shirt had been in such bad shape that she had given him a new shirt - a bright white shirt. In a sea of children in dirty clothes in disrepair, it was easy to spot him. Pastor Edward came with me and we went to talk to him, and he told us that he was Muslim. Kelly came over, and we talked to him for a few more minutes. I asked if I could pray over him, and he said that it would be all right. I prayed that God would reveal Himself to Juma, and that Juma would know how much God loves him and that Jesus is the only way that he can have a real relationship with God. After I prayed, Kelly gave him her water and told him in beautiful, powerful words that only through Jesus could he not thirst again. The way she spoke gave me chills, and I prayed that Juma understood what she was saying. If Kelly was not already a rockstar in my eyes, she was after that. Juma wasn’t saved that day, as far as I know, but he did stick close to our group the rest of the day. When we sang songs later, he was there and he seemed to be having fun singing with us.

We ate lunch on the bus, and then after lunch I blew bubbles with the kids and we sang a lot of songs. Being the entertainment for about 30 kids was intimidating, but it was a lot of fun. I sang and danced my heart out, and they seemed to have fun. Pastor Edward got them to sing some of their songs as well, and I tried my best to learn them. (I recorded video of this, but I’m having trouble getting the videos off of my memory cards!) Their favorite song was “I like to jump everyday….I like to jump everyday… I like to jump everyday because I know He loves me!” They loved to jump while we sang, and we would do it again with clapping and dancing instead of jumping. I love it too… I still get it stuck in my head and when I do it brings back sweet memories of playing in the Ugandan sun.

After lunch, we went out hut to hut. The day before we had been walking with a woman who told us that demons had been attacking her children in the night, and we had promised to go back to her hut to pray with her. Pastor Edward had told Smooth about this at some point earlier in the day, so I went Smooth and Tasha as we followed this lady to her hut.

As we walked, I held hands with 2 little girls –Amena and Lolini. When we started, they were pretty shy. I had to stick my hand out for Amena to hold, and I had to nod and smile until she finally grabbed it. I found out their names and told them that God loved them, but I seemed to get no response. I kept tried to talk to them, but for the most part they would just giggle and duck their heads. I kept talking though.  In my heart, I could feel the same tugging that I had felt the day before – “Fight for my children.” So as we walked, I prayed for them. I asked each girl if she was saved; Amena buried her head in my skirt, and Lolini shook her head no. I kept praying, asking God to work in their hearts and draw His daughters to Himself with his relentless love.

We probably walked close to 45 minutes, and I was so thankful that we hadn’t tried to go out there the day before...even though she had told us that it was “just over there.” Pastor Edward told us that we were on the road to Kenya and we joked that we must be getting close! Along the way we were joined by another woman who said that demons had killed 5 of her children. They had died in their sleep - smothered by demons. It's hard to even understand something so terrible. I hate to think what I have called "bad" in my life compared to what she has been through. The reality is that for so many people there, they have faced things that we cannot even imagine.

When we arrived at the hut, we sat under a tree as a small crowd of women and children gathered. Smooth told them the Good News about a God who loves them, and I think that about 15 people were saved! It was awesome

After praying with our new sisters in Christ, we went into the hut where the children were being attacked by demons. Smooth prayed over the hut and the children, claiming God’s protection for them and affirming that Satan had no power in that place. It was a powerful experience that I’m not sure I can explain in words. The one thing that I do know is that that I felt peace and the presence of God when we exited, and I did not feel that at all when we went in.

We started to head to the second woman’s house to pray with her family, and I was again walking with Amena and Lolini. By this time, they were obviously more comfortable with me, and they had sought me out to hold my hands as we walked. I told them that God loved them, and I got half-smiles. I kept praying for them, even saying “I am fighting for them. I'm fighting for these two girls, and I will not give up. Save your children.” I knew that God wanted me to give these two girls a lot of attention and prayer.

At the home of the second woman, we entered and prayed for her family. I got to lay hands on the mother and some of her remaining children as Smooth prayed protection for the entire family. Again, the difference in that place between when we entered and when we left was significant. I can’t put it into words except to say that God made his peace felt in that place.

As we left the second hut and started walking down the road back to the village, I was walking between Amena and Lolini when I felt a sense of urgency that I couldn’t ignore any longer.
“Pastor Edward, will you ask my friend why she won’t be saved?”
He looked almost taken aback, but said “Of course! This one?” and he squatted next to Amena as she held my right hand, and for a minute and they exchanged words that I couldn’t understand.
“Oh. She will pray.” He said it very matter of factly, but it made my heart almost burst with joy!
“She will pray to be saved? Now?”
“Yes, she will.”
“And what about Lolini?” I asked and motioned towards the girl clinging to my left hand.
Again there were words that I couldn't understand, and then Pastor Edward straightened up, nodded, and said, “She will pray too.”

So on a dirt road in Uganda, I got to lead two friends to Jesus. I choked up several times in the short prayer as two little girls repeated after me in sweet, sing-songy voices. I will never forget that as long as I live.

At this point in the trip, I had probably gotten to lead more than 50 children in prayers to receive salvation, but there was something extra-special about this. I am humbled that God chose to use me to lead any of His children home to Him, but the way that He worked to save Amena and Lolini was unique. He wouldn’t let me leave them alone. He let me fight for them, and He won.

 (Amena is in the orange dress on the left and Lolini is in the green on the right.)

I get chills remembering the walk back to the village. It wasn’t a walk, it was a dance, a joyful parade. The girls that were walking back to the village weren’t the same girls who had walked out with me. These two girls were now princesses. I told each girl that God loved her, and each turned a face to me full of a smile that radiated. When I told Amena that God loved her, she closed her eyes, sighed, and said "Amena" (meaning "Amen," not her own name). They knew it now. They laughed out loud instead of quietly giggling as we skipped and walked and ran - I would pull them into a run, and then slow them back down into a walk, and then to a skip, alternating quickly to try to make them laugh. If I walked too long, they would look up at me with mischievous smiles, and then start running, trying to pull me with them.

And we sang. I started singing “I like to jump every day” and they joined in with me. When I stopped singing they would start singing on their own, pleading with smiles and pulls on my arms to join in. We jumped when it said to jump, and we reveled in the Father’s love.

I believe with all of my heart that I’ll get to hold hands with Amena and Lolini in heaven. I believe that we will dance and sing and run and skip and jump again. I have no doubt. And honestly, in that moment, it felt like heaven. There were times when all we could see was the dirt road before us (Smooth and Tasha were behind us). I can only imagine what walking streets of gold will be like after walking that sweet dirt road in the sunshine. As the sun shone on us, I knew that God was smiling at us. I know that He was in the middle of the celebrating going on in heaven because two of His daughters came home. Two little girls found a Father in the King of Kings, and had become princesses.

I had left the village holding the hands of two poor little girls, and I danced back into the village holding the hand of a princess in each of mine.

When we got back to the village, there were people milling around. I knew that our bus would be leaving soon, and felt the sense of urgency that I had earlier – Richard. I knew that I needed to find him. I had been praying for him since the day before, and I knew that God wasn’t done with whatever He was going to do in the life of that little boy. I found him, and took him to Pastor Edward. I asked Pastor Edward to talk to him, and to ask him why he wouldn’t be saved. They talked for a few minutes, and then Pastor Edward said “He loves Jesus, but he doesn’t want to get saved today. Not today.” I could tell that Richard was uncomfortable with all of the attention that he was getting, but I asked if I could pray over him and he said that I could. I prayed that God would show Richard how much He loved him, and that Richard would know that he needed to not only love Jesus, but to surrender his life and accept Christ as his savior. Richard didn’t get saved that day, as far as I know. But I believe that he will be saved. I believe that when I walk with Amena and Lolini in heaven, Richard will be there too.

As we drove back to the guest house on the bus, there was a double rainbow in the sky. It was an amazing ending to an amazing day. 

I love that God let us fight for His children that day. I love that He always wins. I love that we are all His children. I love that I got to dance with princesses in Uganda.

1 John 3:1 – “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”

Katonda Akwagala

On Friday, October 8, we went to a different village, whose name I sadly cannot remember. Since this village was further away, we had all of our interpreters riding out with us, unlike at Lakeside were many met us there instead, including Pastor Edward. As usual, we waited for a while before we left. I got to talk to Pastor Edward while we waited, and he helped me practice my Lugandan. Between last year and the emails and phone calls in between, he taught me several phrases:

Katonda Akuwe Omukisa – God bless you.

Makama Yaybazibwe – Praise the Lord.

Katonda Akwagala – God loves you.

Olimulokole? – Are you born again?

Gwani? – What is your name?

Nze Helen – My name is Helen.

Webale – Thank you.

Nkwagala – I love you.

So as we waited, he helped me with some pronunciation, but he said that my Lugandan was very good! He even gave me a 95, saying that it was worth an “A” and that if I come back next year maybe I will get a 100!

I rode on the back of the bus with Pastor Mark, Pastor Geofrey, and Pastor Joseph on the 2 hour bumpy ride. When we reached this second village, I was surprised by how few children were waiting for us! Of course, more came as the morning went by, but at first there were probably only 15-20.

Before we got started with the kids, though, we went into the church where they had already started worshiping. We were only in there for a few songs, and then those of us working with the children left and asked our interpreters to get the children together. We took them into a small school room next door to the church, and Robyn, Tanja, Mary and I took turns telling the story of Moses. Then, Tanja and I took the older children outside for the Hokey Pokey and Bubbles, while Robyn and Mary kept the younger children inside for a game of “Who’s got the basket?” and bubbles. After games, we told the rest of the Moses story, and I presented the Gospel. I didn’t count them, but I’d guess that about 8-10 kids got saved!

By this time, a lot more kids had come, so we took them outside under a tree where we did songs, coloring, and more songs outside. They loved the songs, especially “I like to jump!” It’s so much fun to watch them become more and more engaged and excited. They were extremely excited to get their coloring books, and they sat and colored for a long time without losing focus. They would hardly look up, except when they realized that you were taking their picture! And if you told one of the children that his or her picture was beautiful, then all of the other children that heard you wanted to show you their picture too! 

 

So remember how I said I didn’t think I should have favorites? Well I had a favorite boy in this village – Richard. Richard sat up front in the school during the story, and listened intently. I was disappointed when he didn’t pray to receive salvation, but I hoped that it was because that he already knew Jesus as his Savior. At one point while we were singing outside, I very clearly felt God impress on my heart “Fight for my children.” Whoa. I wondered what that even meant, and something led me to look at Richard. I was sure that God was talking at least in part about him. I hid it in my heart, not knowing what it meant but sure that God would show me what to do.

After a while, we broke up for lunch, and Pastor Edward, Pastor Geofrey, Tanja, Mary, Robyn, Heidi, Ashley, and I went back in to the school room and ate the lunches that we had packed. Edward told us some funny stories about rats and cockroaches, calling them “uninvited guests,” and it became a joke of his through the rest of the trip.

We had seen them cooking lunch for the village across the road at a couple of huts, and Edward took us over there to see it after lunch. We saw a barrel full of a brownish liquid, and I assumed that it was some kind of broth. When someone asked Edward, though, he said that it was water. The follow-up question was to ask where the water was coming from, and then a little field trip ensued. We walked maybe a quarter to a half mile to what I would call a pond. Pastor Edward told us that this is that village’s water supply. As we walked right up to it, Pastor Edward said “Now you will see how we suffer.” I will never forget his words or what we saw. I have to show a picture because I can’t even describe it.

 

 

This is the water that they drink. This is the water that they bathe their babies in. As we watched, they lowered the bucket into the water, and took drinks. One night at dinner Kelly said, "Now that we know, we're responsible." She was talking about something different, but I think that was the realization that came over those of us who saw the water that day. We know, now. We have no excuse.

We walked back towards the village, where we realized that the rest of our team wasn’t ready to go hut-to-hut yet. There was a large group of children who had been following us and milling around, so we got them singing and dancing, and we ended up putting stamps on their hands. I love those parts of the day – there is no agenda, no rush, no hurry… just kids who want you to spend time with them. It is absolutely wonderful.

When we were ready to go hut to hut, I went with Pastor Edward, Mary, and Tanja. At the first hut, I got to present the Gospel to a man and three women. From what I understood, at least one of the women was already saved; the man prayed to receive Christ as his Savior, but before we prayed, I had Pastor Edward ask if any of the children listening wanted to be saved, and Richard was among them. When he said “No,” I asked Richard if he was saved in Lugandan. He ducked his head, and Pastor Edward said that he was not. He didn’t pray there, but he did follow us to the next hut where he heard the Gospel again, this time from Mary. A lady from the first hut had led us to a hut where there were 3 young women, and Mary got to lead all 3 in a prayer as they surrendered to the Lord! But again Richard did not pray, and I did not see him again that day.

The lady from the first hut led us again, and the third hut, I prayed with a believer who was very young but had three children; she had just come from Kenya and asked us to pray for her to find a way to make money and take care of her children. At the last hut, Pastor Edward ate a big piece of jackfruit, telling us that if we could eat it, we would never want to eat another fruit. Apparently it's that good!

This was the only food that really looked good to me besides what we were fed at the guesthouse. So while Pastor Edward ate his jackfruit, he interpreted for Tanja, who got to lead a woman to Christ! Mary and I spent most of the time quietly playing with this little girl – 

 

Could she be any cuter?

Before we had left that hut, Pastor Timothy rode up on a bicycle to tell us that we needed to hurry because the rain was coming. As we had walked back to the bus, the lady who had been leading us to these other huts had been talking to Pastor Edward; he told me that she was asking him if we could come pray with her at her house because demons had been attacking her children in their sleep. By the time I heard this, we were already at the bus and really had to leave, so we promised to go with her the next day when we came back. God got us safely back to the guest house despite the rain, and we were even early with time to spare before dinner!

Showering before dinner was a nice treat, as was the delicious dinner of chicken, rice, vegetables (green beans and carrots), cream of chicken soup, bread, and watermelon. Godfrey ate dinner with us for the first time, and he shared about the orphanage. When we asked what he wanted us to do there, he said “Love the children. Hold them. Play with them.” Wow. All day? That sounds awesome!

After dinner, I went to ask Pastor Mark if I could go to Pastor Edward’s church (Bukaya) when we split up on Sunday morning. Pastor Godfrey was still standing with him, and he told me that Bukaya is his church too, and that I should preach there. Me??!?!? I said, “If you think I should do it, my knees will shake, but I will let God use me.” I was sure that he had only been kidding that I should preach. He wasn’t. “Then of course you should preach! If your knees shake, then it is all God! My knees shake before I preach!”

So that was how I ended up preaching in a church for the first time that Sunday.

Isaiah 43:19 - "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." 

How awesome that we serve a God who is always working in a new ways!

Kids, a Pool Hall, and my Testimony

Ugandan time is very different from American time. Case in point - on our second day in Uganda, we left about an hour after the time that we were “supposed” to leave to go back to Lakeside. It takes some getting used to, especially for a Type A planner like me, but the best thing to do is just relax and enjoy not keeping a strict schedule. One of my favorite parts of our “waiting” time is getting to talk to the pastors.

On the morning of our second full day in Uganda, I got to sit outside and talk to Pastor Geofrey, Pastor Omar, and Pastor Anthony. It’s so refreshing to just sit and talk to them – to hear them talk about their families and their churches and how God is working in their lives. I visited Pastor Geofrey’s church last year, so I got to talk to him about how his church is doing and I was able to ask about his son Isaac, who is about 6 and sat with me at church last year. When I took notes on Pastor Mark’s sermon during church last year, I gave Isaac a piece of paper and a pen to draw/doodle with, but he didn’t draw – he copied my notes. Word for word, he wrote what I was writing. Amazing. I also got to sit with Pastor Geofrey on the back of the bus on the way to Lakeside, and I gave him pictures of him, his church, and Isaac that I had taken last year. He was so excited!

When we got to the village, we walked around and played with the kids for a little while, and then we went into the church. They were already in the middle of worshiping and praising Jesus, we joined right in – I miss the worship in Uganda, honestly. We didn’t know or understand the words, and we didn’t need to. We clapped, swayed, and stomped along to the music, and silently added our praises to the beautiful words being sung by the people surrounding us. 

After a few songs, those of us working with kids went outside and got the children gathered together. Even though the number probably tripled by lunchtime, we started with a lot less kids than the day before (maybe 50 instead of 250-300? For an accountant, I am terrible at estimating). I got to tell them the story of Jesus; I told them that Jesus loved them and wanted to be their friend. How amazing is that? After the story we sang songs, and then we broke up into stations that the kids rotated through – Kelly played “Friend, Friend, Go” (Another name for Duck, Duck, Goose), Tanja handed out coloring books and crayons and let them color, and I drew smiley faces on their hands to make little hand puppets.

The children in this village were “stubborn” as the pastors kindly put it. They were pretty pushy when it came to getting in line to get things, but how can you blame them? In their lives, there is never enough, and they’ve learned that they have to struggle to get anything. I understand this, but it was still hard when I was trying to draw smiley faces on their hands, and they’re nearly knocking each other over to get a turn at my black marker.

In one of the groups, there was a girl in an orange dress who got knocked over, and she started crying. I knelt down and hugged her, and then helped her to her feet. I could tell that she was still hurting but I had to keep drawing faces, so as she stood in front of my left leg, I simply rubbed her back, and held her against my skirt with my left arm while I kept drawing with my right hand. All of my attention was on her though. I could tell that she had stopped crying, but she was completely still, letting me just hold her. I prayed for her, even though I didn’t even know her name. As I prayed, the song “Hold Me Now” came into my head. I prayed that as I physically held her, that God would hold her in His love. I am having trouble explaining what I felt at that moment, but it was really special. I thought “This is why I’m here, even just to hold some children for Jesus.”

So after all of the children had black marker “friends” on their hands, I got to tell them again how much Jesus loves them, and I told them about how Jesus wants to have a real relationship with them, and at least 15-20 got saved! How awesome is our God!?!? After that, we sang some more songs, and then we went to eat lunch.

Lakeside is (relatively) close to where Pastor Edward lives, so not only was he there again (even though he hadn’t ridden the bus with us), but he brought his wife too! I love me some Mama Joy! She only knows a few phrases in English, but she just radiates love. I ate the lunch that the guest house had packed for us (sandwiches, bananas, and hard boiled eggs), and then sat with Pastor Edward and Mama Joy while they ate their lunch. [Sidenote: Part of the cost of our trip was to pay for us to provide a meal for the people in the villages we visited, so all morning they had been cooking a meal for the people of rice, beans, sweet potatoes, and maybe a few other things. Their food would make us sick, though, thus the packed lunches.]

While I sat with him and his wife, Pastor Edward told me about his family, and how he didn’t know how he was going to care for 13 children. He asked me, though, “What am I to do? Abandon them? I cannot do that.” He told me that he knew without a doubt that God wanted him to take care of these children, but he admitted that he didn't know how God was going to provide for them. His trust in God's provision was obvious and humbling. He told me about how he wanted a cow to be able to take care of his family because they would have milk enough for them plus more to sell; but cows are very expensive, so for now he simply trusts God. His burden, his “luggage” as he calls it, is so heavy. He loves these children, and wants to take care of them, but he feels like when he does the best he can, it’s not enough.

After lunch, Ashley, Tanja, Kelly and I went out hut to hut with Pastor Edward and another interpreter named Martha. At the first hut, Kelly prayed with a lady who was already saved, and when Kelly asked her about a necklace around her baby’s neck, the lady said that it was from a witchdoctor, and then she said that she wanted to cut it off. As we watched, she cut off the necklace. It was a tender display of obedience and trust.

In the second hut, Ashley led a woman with malaria to Jesus, and then we all laid hands on her as Ashley prayed for her. At the third hut, I told a woman and her children about a God who loves them, and the woman and all of her children (4 or 5, I think) were all saved.

At the fourth hut (rather, a “hut cluster” as Robyn dubbed it), there was a group of several women, and they were already saved. I gave a red t-shirt to the oldest woman, and she immediately put it on. Let me repeat: she immediately put it on. As I sat there, the woman took off the old denim shirt that she had been wearing and put on her new shirt. She smiled a huge smile and danced around, and then motioned for me to take a picture. 

Three more people, a man and two women, came to know Christ as their Savior at the next stop when Ashley told the Good News, and then we had one more stop to make.

Before I talk about the next stop, let me go back to last year for a minute. When I left to go to Uganda last year, I honestly had no idea what I was doing. I just knew that God wanted me to go. I didn’t really know anybody going on the trip, and I didn’t see myself as particularly “good” with kids, “good” at teaching, or “good” at evangelism. I just knew that I was supposed to go. So when we went hut to hut the first time last year, I admit that I was pretty intimidated. I had never led someone in a prayer to receive Jesus, and while I was willing, I was definitely scared. Every day was fine, but every time that I told people the Good News, they were either already a follower of Jesus, or they had no interest in becoming one. Last year we had just finished our fourth day of ministering in the villages when I rode home on the back of the bus with Pastor Mark. He asked me questions about how things were going, and I told him that I was a disappointed that I hadn’t gotten to pray with anyone to receive salvation yet. I told him that I knew it wasn’t about numbers or who does what, but I just felt slightly frustrated - like I was missing out on an important part of the whole experience. He told me to come with him the next time we went hut to hut, and I did the very next day. When we started out, we first came to a building with a group of about 10 men in their late teens and early twenties who did not look very welcoming or excited about listening to what we had to say. They did agree to listen, and Pastor Mark said “I’ll take this one;” I observed as he told them about a God who loves them and who wants to save them, and several were saved. As we walked away, he said “I knew that would be a rough group, and I thought you might be uncomfortable.” He was right on both accounts. At the next place we stopped, I prayed with a woman who was already saved, and then, on our third stop, we came to Mary. Mary was nursing her baby the entire time I talked to her, but she listened intently as I told her about God’s love for her. I almost held my breath when the interpreter asked her if she wanted to be saved. I knew and I know that it was not me who led her to Jesus. I know that God calls us, He beckons us to Him, and He works in our hearts. But for me, telling Mary about Jesus and leading her in a prayer in which she surrendered her life to God... that was an indescribable experience. And every time that I have had the privilege to do it with other people, it's been just as incredible.

So back to 2010. Pastor Edward was leading us around the village, and he announced “We will stop here” in front of a pool hall. Yes, a Ugandan pool hall. Under a thatched roof, there was a pool table, and a group of 10 or 15 young men in their late teens or early twenties who did not look thrilled to have a bunch of white girls interrupting their game. I knew that I was supposed to talk to them, and I immediately had a flashback to the year before when Pastor Mark had taken the reins in a similar situation. He wasn’t there this time. I realized, though, that God could do what He wanted through me too. I prayed silently as I stepped forward with shaking knees and started to tell them everything. I told them that we’re all sinners, but God loves us anyway; I told them that God loved them so much that He sent his son to die for them. I could feel my confidence growing, and as Pastor Edward’s powerful voice translating, I knew that God was working. I was praying as I spoke, trusting that God was going to work through me, a little white girl with shaky knees. I asked if any of them were willing to surrender their lives to Jesus, and one man raised his hand. His friends laughed and jeered, but he kept his hand up, a huge smile on his face. I can’t imagine the kind of courage it required of him, but he stepped forward from behind the table, and stood right in front of me. He accepted God’s gift of salvation, surrendering his life to Jesus, even as his friends continued with their laughter and murmurs. Ashley told me later that (1) she had never heard me talk with so much conviction and strength [and I know that that was ALL God, and not me] and (2) that she sensed the need to pray, and she had been praying the whole time that I was speaking.

We made another stop, and as I played with a group of children off to the side, Ashley got to pray with a group of women. Marian and Mya, my friends from the day before, had been following us at each stop, and at this last stop I was able to stand and hold their hands and try to talk to them. By the time we were done, it was time to go back to the church for a crusade.

As we walked up to the crusade that was already underway, Smooth says “Helen, do you want to give your testimony?” I said “If you want me to.” [I know that I say this way too often when the point is obviously not whether or not the person asking me wants me to do something. As soon as I said it I realized that this was one of those times.] Smooth asked me again “No, do you want to?” I said “Yes,” and within a few moments I was standing in front of at least 100 people talking about how Jesus saved me from my fears. I told them about even though I’ve been saved since I was very small, I’ve had fears. I have let fear keep me from doing things that I knew God was calling me to do, but He is bigger than our fears. He is stronger than anything we can face. I told them we cannot let fear keep us from what God wants us to do, because we would miss out. I would have missed out on Uganda if I let my fears control me, and that would have been a terrible thing. I ended by saying “God bless you” in Lugandan – “Katonda Akuwe Omukisa,” which led to a shout of laughter – the Muzungu speaking Lugandan is obviously quite amusing.

Afterward, I stood off the side holding the hands of some children while Smooth preached the Gospel to the large crowd gathered. As people moved forward to pray to receive Jesus as their Savior, Ashley came over to me. “That man! That man was in the pool hall! Do you recognize him?” I am so thankful that she saw what I had not – another man from the pool hall had come to the crusade, and as we watched he was receiving eternal life. How incredible is that?

The bus had taken a few of our teammates to the prison, and so we had about 30 minutes, I think, where we just got to play with the children and talk to the adults. I took pictures of and with the children for a while, and then tried to get them to sing songs and dance with me. I walked over to Pastor Robert to talk to him, and he said “It is a big blessing to have everyone love you.” I asked him what he meant (thinking that surely he didn't mean me) and he said “You are now a mama with many children.” I was so touched. I just kept thinking, “I’m just playing, I’m just singing, I’m just…I’m just…” and then I told him “I feel like what we do is so small. I know that the need is so big…” and he stopped me. He said “No. It is a big thing that you do. You come. You encourage us. That is big.” 

The thing is, it’s great that we can bring some clothes, some sandals, some toothbrushes, and other things that help them for a while. But the biggest thing that we do is just coming. It’s just bringing them courage and hope. It’s telling them that we love them and we haven’t forgotten them. What we physically give is small - like the pair of sandals and a shirt that I gave to Marian and Mya. The shirt and the sandals will fall apart someday. But the people in that village heard that Jesus loves them, and our team was there for them. We came for them. We had encouraged them that they are not alone, that they are not forgotten... that God loves them. That is what matters.

So the bus came back for us, and we loaded up for the ride back to the guest house. I said good-bye to Mama Joy, and she told me she loved me in Lugandan several times “Nkwagala nyo nyo nyo. Nkwagala nyo nyo nyo.” I hugged her over and over and told her that I loved her too. I've never been so close to someone that I've shared so few words with.

Over a delicious dinner of spaghetti, pineapple, bread, and mushroom soup, we told our stories from the day. We talked about how when we come, we bring hope. That’s why we come. Pastor Mark mentioned that I had struggled with coming – I had emailed him asking if it wouldn’t be better for me to just send money to my friends in Uganda, because would that be of more use to them than having me there for a week? But in his email, and then that night at dinner too, he reminded us all that God tell us to GO and that He has things He wants us to do in Uganda. 

The God of the universe chooses to use us. Sometimes that means going to Uganda, but wherever and whatever it is, it always blows this girl's mind. 

First Real Day in Uganda

[I really want to get all of these Uganda blogs posted, but I want to do them right and not rush them so that’s why it’s taking so long! They are coming, I promise!]

On October 6, we woke up in Uganda. We got to sleep in and eat breakfast and plan for the day, and we didn’t leave until after lunch. Can I just say that the food in Uganda (in my opinion) is really, really good. That’s been one of the things that everyone has asked me since I got home, especially since I lost some weight while I was there. Trust me, I lost weight from the activity (running and jumping and playing with kids is a good workout!); it wasn’t because I didn’t eat enough, because I ate a lot! Most mornings we had pancakes and/or eggs, and they were delicious. I miss the pineapple and the juice every morning.

OK, back on track. Those of us that were going to work with the kids got together to plan what we were going to be doing. Can I just say that everybody who worked so hard to help us get ready before the trip absolutely ROCKS!?!?!? Aaron and Whitney Bauer, Robyn, and Heidi all did a lot of work, (and I know that a lot of other people did too!) and it definitely paid off! So to all of those people – THANK YOU!!!!! We got to do a lesson on Moses the first day in this village, so we planned out who would tell which parts of the story, who would be leading songs, coloring, games, etc. It’s hard to plan, though, because we never have any idea how many kids we’ll have! Everyone was great at being flexible and just rolling with whatever came our way. Our team was and is amazing.

So after lunch we loaded up the bus and drove to Lakeside. Once we got off the main roads of Jinja, whenever we would pass huts and there were children outside, they would scream “MUZUNGU!” [what they call white people] and chase after the bus. It’s adorable!

It took about 45 minutes, and I got to sit in my favorite spot – the back right corner of the bus. Why do I like the back of the bus? Honestly, one reason is that I don’t like being able to see the road coming up… it just makes me nervous. The bus driver Tom is an amazing driver, but in general, the roads are scary and it’s better for me to just look out the side windows and enjoy the ride that way. Plus, I really like sitting on the back of the bus surrounded by our pastor friends. It’s one of my favorite things about the trip.

My closest pastor friend is named Edward. We got to be good friends last year, and we communicated in the time between trips through emails and even phone calls. He worked closely with us with the children last year, and he was amazing with them. He will encourage them to sing songs in their own language, he makes them laugh, and he is great about organizing large crowds of kids (which we have a lot!). He has 5 biological children with his wife (Mama Joy), and last year he was also taking care of 3 orphans. In the last month, his mother has died, and she was caring for 5 orphans; the burden of caring for those children has fallen to him, so soon he will be caring for 13 children. Even though he has this huge burden (“luggage” as he calls it), he is always joyful. He is always smiling and laughing, and his heart for Jesus just shines through him. Don’t think, though, that just because he’s good with kids that he isn’t fierce when it comes to telling people about Jesus. I love getting to go hut-to-hut with him because he talks about Jesus, His love, and salvation with passion and fire. Pastor Edward is the son of a chief, and he was a witchdoctor before he got saved. His story is amazing, and he is amazing and inspiring. But he is just one of the incredible interpreters that we have. I just wanted to take a minute to tell him about him because he is extra special to me.

(me and Pastor Edward last year)

When we got to Lakeside, we saw our pastor friends, and it was like coming home again! Pastor Edward gave me a two-handed wave (I love two-handed waves) as we pulled up, and I gave him a HUGE hug as soon as we got off the bus. Pastor Timothy is the pastor at Lakeside, so he was there, as was Pastor Robert and Pastor Geofrey.

There was a LOT of kids, so we went right into kids’ ministry. We told the story of Moses and then I presented the Gospel to them. I think that at least 15-20 kids got saved! God is SO good! After that, we sang songs and colored in mini coloring books that we had brought. We didn’t have enough coloring for all of the kids, and that was really hard. It’s heartbreaking to have to say “We don’t have anymore.” But we can only do what we can do, so we just focus on that. After coloring, we broke up into groups for games. It got a little chaotic because there were so many kids, especially since we were doing this in the afternoon and some of them were already out of school (we normally do kids' ministry in the mornings and a lot are in school). I took the soccer ball and went with the older kids to play “Net ball” with the girls. I thought that net ball meant basketball, but this is the way it goes the times that I’ve played it in the villages – someone throws the ball to someone else, that person catches it and throws it to someone else. If you don’t catch the ball, you’re out. If you are the last one standing, you are the queen. So I played net ball with the older girls, and I was queen! (Last year I played it also, and I had a lot of the girls tell me “Muzungu, you will sit!” and I said “No, I will be queen!” and I was! They all thought that it was really funny that this awkward looking white girl could catch and throw a soccer ball!)

After about an hour or two, most people on our team got in groups of two or three and went hut-to-hut with the interpreters to tell share the Gospel. They said that someone needed to stay back with the kids to try to keep them from following everyone else all over the village, and I volunteered. It was exhausting, but a lot of fun. Most of the kids ended up scattering anyway, but I think that maybe it helped a little bit. Basically, I was the main event for about 30-40 kids for at least an hour. No pressure! Haha. I had Pastor Edward with me and he helped me explain the songs that I taught them, and then they taught me some songs in their language. (I have some on video, but my I’m having trouble playing them… If I can get it fixed I’ll post them!). I showed them pictures that I had brought of my family and friends, and they really liked that. They thought that it was very weird that I had a picture of my dog and that she was on a chair in the picture. “A dog in the chair?” They thought I was very silly. When we were done with the songs and the pictures, I just started taking pictures of the kids. They love to pose for you to take their picture, and then they squeal and scream when you show them the picture afterward. If they think that you can’t see their face, they will stick a hand (or an arm, or a water bottle) in front of other kids so that they can have some part of themselves in the picture. It can get kind of frustrating, but then when you take a step back and realize that for some of them, it could truly be years in between times that they actually have their picture taken. Wow. It gives you a lot more patience with them to think that way.

I guess that you shouldn’t get favorite kids in the village, but I always do. This first day, I bonded with Marian and Mya. They are sisters (I’d guess around 12 and 9 or 10 years old), and Marian had gotten saved that day when I presented the Gospel. She was never far from my side our whole time in Lakeside. She was very bright and sweet.

(Mya is on the front left in the yellow-green dress, and Marian is in the center in the blue)

On the way home, I rode on the back of the bus again, this time with Mark Harvey and Pastor Joseph. On our last day in the village last year, I rode home next to Pastor Joseph, so it was pretty funny to me that this trip started the way that the last trip had ended.

When we got back to the guest house, it was time to eat, but when we were upstairs attempting to clean up a little bit (basically, just washing our hands and exchanging smelly, muddy shoes for flip-flops), the power went out. They pulled out a big lantern, so we ate dinner by lantern light until the power came back on sometime during dinner. Dinner was Tilapia, potatoes, carrots, mushroom soup, and bread. [Sidenote: I love the bread that they make. It is incredible.]

Like last year, every night after dinner we went around and everyone shared a little bit about what we had that day. [I didn’t mention it before, but while some of us were working with kids, a group of 3 went to visit a school, 2 went to prisons, Ashley was speaking to the women, and others were speaking to the men.] I think that my favorite parts of the day were (1) getting to introduce over 15 kids to Jesus! (2) finding out that my new friend Marian had gotten to know Jesus that day, and (3) playing and singing with the kids when others were gone hut-to-hut.

After dinner, we worked on unpacking the bags that we had brought with us (each of us got to bring one checked bag, and the other checked bag we had packed at Journey from items generously donated by people in the church – clothes, toys, candy, etc. etc.). I also got to call home just to tell my Mom that I was in Uganda safe and sound. 

That night in our room, I wrote another letter to Jesus, and about halfway through I wrote this –

“Lord, I know that you hear the cries of your children. What we do just seems so small. Coloring books and songs won’t help them. Let us bring hope. Let us bring courage. Let us be Your hands and feet. Remind me that ‘We can do no big things, only small things with great love.’ Give me great love that lives and moves and breathes. Don’t let me get focused on doing this or that, but on You and Your love.”

As I was writing it, the song “Surely We Can Change” by David Crowder popped in my head. I put my ipod on that song and let the words say what I couldn’t. It was exactly what I had been feeling – just let us change something here. Let us just show your love and let that change things here. The next page in my journal is just the lyrics written out -

And I don’t know

What to do with a love like that

And I don’t know

How to be a love like that …

Where there is pain

Let there be grace

Where there is suffering

Bring serenity

For those afraid

Help them be brave

Where there is misery

Bring expectancy

And surely we can change

Surely we can change

Something

Where there is pain

Let us bring grace

Where there is suffering

Bring serenity

For those afraid

Let us be brave

Where there is misery

Let us bring them relief

And surely we can change

Surely we can change

Oh surely we can change

Something

Getting to Uganda

Here is what happened on the first two days of our trip: we traveled. The traveling is definitely not the exciting part of the trip [shocker], so I’ll summarize and try to highlight the important things.

First of all, I worked on Monday morning. I mean, I was distracted and not focused, but I tried my best to work on Monday morning. Why? See, we were gone from Monday, October 4 to Thursday, October 14, so that’s 9 work days. I only get 2 weeks of vacation for the year, so it doesn’t take an accountant to calculate that it’s about all of my vacation. Now, the people that I work for are wonderful and so they’ve told me that I can work extra around Christmas to have some time off, plus I get one floating holiday, plus I got to treat one day of our trip as a “QDay” for community service. So I’m still going to get a whole week off at Christmas. :-) God gave me an amazing job.

Anyway, so I left work around noon and went back to my place to change clothes, put the last few things in my bag, and try to eat lunch. My stomach was it knots – I wasn’t scared, but I was definitely full of anticipation. I just wanted to go ahead and GO! My sister dropped me off at the airport, and even risked getting her car towed to help me get my massive suitcases into the airport. Check-in went fine, and my bags were both under-weight (I had prayed over them on the way to the airport because I wanted everything in them to get to Uganda).

You could tell how excited and nervous everyone was as we waited for our flight to Detroit. [On that flight, we had probably the rudest flight attendant in the history of flight attendants. I think she was mad that her parents had named her Bertha.] I got to sit with my friend Ashley on all of our flights. If you don’t know her, you’re missing out. She’s awesome. We didn’t know each other before we went to Uganda last year, but now she is one of my closest friends. I don’t exactly know when it happened, but over the course of lots of lunches and dinners at Olive Garden, we have bonded over our love for Jesus and Uganda. Basically, God knitted our hearts together, and it’s awesome.

(Ashley took this with her iphone right before we left Detroit for Amsterdam!)

On the 8 hour flight from Detroit to Amsterdam, I tried (mostly unsuccessfully) to sleep in my window seat. I watched Toy Story 3, and laughed out loud at Ken and Barbie. I think I also watched the original Toy Story and 101 Dalmatians. Yes, my movie taste is similar to that of an 8 year old girl, and that’s ok with me. We had a short (2 hours, maybe?) layover in Amsterdam where we just walked around. Oh, and Ashley found my boyfriend – a fat man wearing pants with the outline of Africa in bright colors all over them…can you say “SCORE!”? Before we knew it, we were on another 8 hour flight, this time down to Entebbe. We got off the airplane around 8pm-ish (Uganda time) and got our bags, and then stood in a massive line to have them put our bags through an X-ray machine before we could exit the airport. It was pretty strange.

Last year, we left the airport and went directly to a hotel just a few miles away instead of making the drive to the guest house in Jinja. This year, though, Pastor Godfrey wanted us to make it to the guest house since we were going to jump right into a day of ministry the next day. So we loaded up the bus and drove to Jinja. It was dark, so we couldn’t see much on the drive, but just knowing that we were finally in Uganda had my heart pounding. Smooth was definitely right when he told us “Uganda gets inside of you.” I felt like I was coming home after almost a year away.

I think that we got there sometime after midnight, and I’ve never been so exhausted and excited at the same time. I was thankful that the traveling was done (until the trip home), and incredibly excited about what was going to happen over the next week!

Falling

“It was awesome.” That’s about all I’ve told most people about our trip to Uganda. How do you sum up over a week of amazing experiences? Honestly, I’m still processing it all myself.

I’d like to blog about each day, but I don’t know how long it will take, so just bear with me.

Before I get to the trip, though, I need to start with the day before we left -- Sunday, October 3, 2010. I went to church with my sister, and cried during worship. Since coming back from Uganda last year, the song “You Hold Me Now” (If you haven’t heard it, you should listen to it by clicking here) has brought to mind all of my friends in Uganda. I pray that song for them, that God would hold them through everything that they have to go through. Anyway, I had tears streaming down my face by a few lines into that song as I sang and prayed. At the end of the service, I bawled like a baby during this. I was barely holding it together until there was a beautiful Ugandan lady crying on the screen. I immediately grabbed my sister, who was sitting next to me, and she held my hand as I cried, and prayed for all of the people that I would be seeing, that somehow God would use me to reveal Himself and His love to them.

So I was feeling fired up about this trip, and then I got to go to MSO (“Middle School Only”). Our lesson was on trust, and we were going to do a trust fall. One of the girls gets up to do her fall, and then slightly panicked. You could tell that she wanted to do it so badly, but her fears were keeping her from it. Wesley said “If you do it, Helen will do it!” and I said “Sure!” so when at last she fell into the arms of her fellow middle schoolers, I made my way to the big box on the stage.

When I stood up on the box, I was kind of surprised that my knees went weak and my hands started shaking. Was I really afraid? I honestly wasn’t afraid that they were going to drop me… I’m not that heavy. I really wasn’t afraid of getting hurt, and while I am not fearless when it comes to heights, the box wasn’t that far off of the ground… maybe 3 ½ feet? “Good grief…WHY am I shaking?” was all that kept going through my head. I must have looked as shaky as I felt, because Smooth asked if I was ok. I think I managed to spit out something like “Yeah… I’m just… um…phew…um… let’s do this!” and then I said “Falling,” waited for my middle school friends say “Fall on,” and I fell backwards into their arms.

I knew that they were going to catch me. I hadn’t doubted that. I trusted them. But that didn’t stop my knees and hands from shaking.

I kept thinking about it all day, and then I felt like God told me that what had happened on my trust fall was what He had been trying to tell me in the weeks leading up to the trip to Uganda – a little shaking doesn’t mean you don’t trust. The important thing is whether you fall anyway.

I don’t know if you read the last post before I left, but I wrote about how I had been feeling inadequate and was battling doubts and fears about the trip. I was feeling anxious and nervous about the trip, even though I was not truly afraid of anything that could happen. And when I started feeling anxious, I started beating myself up inside, thinking that I must not trust God enough because I was fighting fears. I thought – “Surely if I really trusted God, I wouldn’t have any fears before heading off to Uganda. Right?” I would try to figure out why I was nervous, and would always come up empty – nothing specific was making me afraid, so (like the trust fall) I would come back to “Good grief…WHY am I shaking?”

But through the trust fall, I felt like God was trying to tell me that the natural reaction of shaking, of being nervous, of having your knees go weak, is ok. It’s natural. He will listen to me cry out when I get scared, and He holds me through the fears. But as far as trusting Him or not trusting Him, the bottom line isn’t whether or not my knees shake when I get on the box and take a deep breath. I think that the bottom line is whether I choose to fall anyway. The bottom line is whether or not I can stand and say “My knees may shake, but I will fall. I choose to trust and fall.”

So on the trip, there were times when I would start shaking – when I was asked to preach, when I was sharing the Gospel in a pool hall, when I was praying with a woman whose children had been killed by demons. There were times when my knees started to go weak, but I told God that I was choosing to fall.

This is from a prayer that I wrote to God somewhere between Detroit and Amsterdam: “Thank you for the trust fall that we did in MSO on Sunday. Thank you for letting me do it and teaching me an important lesson ¬– getting shaky doesn’t mean I don’t trust… as long as I will lean back and “Fall on” when you tell me to…isn’t that all you ask for? I may get shaky on this trip, but I commit to falling, to leaping, to trusting, to loving, to serving, to saying, to singing, to DOING whatever you want me to do.”

So, friends, I’ll have the stories of loving, singing, trusting, and serving, but I just wanted to start with a story about falling.

Beautiful Somehow

Today was a hard day. I am sure that a big part of it is going to Uganda, and Satan attacking me trying to get me down and distracted. I felt like I was on the edge of tears most of the day, feeling anxious and weighted down without really knowing what was wrong. Our God is faithful, though, and tonight His goodness was absolutely evident to me. After a day of feeling completely inadequate, two things happened tonight at my discipleship group that leave me knowing that God wants to get a message across to me: 

1. During the closing prayer, one of my classmates said (loosely quoting) “God, there are some in here who are feeling inadequate. Pour out your love and showing them that you are strong in them and will do mighty things through them.” I knew that God was talking to me. I’d felt so down, so inadequate, so burdened all day. I know that God spoke to me through my brother in Christ.

2. After that prayer, our teacher Scott said “Wait. We need to pray for Helen and her trip to Uganda.” My classmates laid hands on me and prayed for me. Two women that I’m close to not only prayed for my protection, but spoke affirming, life-giving words over me. They believe in me, and they see God working in me. How amazing is that? Scott also prayed over me, and hearing and feeling the prayers of my brothers in sister in Christ for me, my teammates, and the people of Uganda had me in tears. I had a room of people who believe that God can and will work in me.

So knowing what God did tonight, the below (written earlier today) might make a little bit more sense. I think that I knew what God was saying to me earlier today, but I don’t think that it had sunk in yet. It’s pretty amazing, though, to look back just hours and know that God was trying to get something through my thick head.

-----

I’ve been having another one of those times when I know God keeps bringing something to my mind. As we’re preparing for Uganda, I’ve been fighting off feelings of inadequacy – the lies that I can’t do this, I’m going to mess things up… the list goes on. I know that they’re lies, but fighting them gets exhausting. God’s been SO faithful though, feeding me truth and giving me courage.

What He’s been trying to tell me can be summed up by a line in the song “Have Your Way” by Britt Nicole – “Remind me that you take broken things and turn them into beautiful.” I hear it echoing in my head all day. God will use me despite my weaknesses, and He just wants me to be willing. He takes me in all my mess, in all my brokenness and inadequacy, and He uses me. He wants to use ME. It blows my little mind.

I hope to write about this more, but I wanted to write this much for now and end with a song. One of the songs that I keep coming back to lately (even though it’s been one of my favorite songs for several years) is called “Beautiful Somehow” by Joy Williams. From the first time I heard it, God has spoken to me through it… reminding me that He made me in His image and that He loves me and wants to and can use me. On those days when I think that I’m just too [fill in the blank] for God to use, I usually end up with this song in my head… remembering that He makes everything beautiful.

Well, I've never been a fashion queen

I wear dresses I wear jeans

I've even been known to wear my heart on my sleeve

I'm just your average kid next door

A plain simple mystery

I'm a self-proclaimed daddy's girl

With my share of idiosyncrasies

I'm just fine

I see a smile from Heaven

My father's proud

And I know that I am simply, fearfully, and wonderfully

Made in you

You make it beautiful somehow

I've got old-fashioned sensibilities

I believe chivalry still exists

And I can be a princess

Even when there ain't no prince

So what if I'm right brained

I've got half a mind to disagree

I would rather write the book

Than go and read the movie

So even when I may not rhyme

You always give me reason

I'm just fine

I see a smile from Heaven

My father's proud

And I know that I am simply, fearfully, and wonderfully

Made in you

You make it beautiful somehow

Every day, every way

Got my elbows on the table

My mind up in the clouds

I know I'm getting better

I can almost hear You laugh out loud

The more I trust in You

The more I find

What You create is no mistake

It's purpose by design