Obviously More Important

Obviously haven't been the faithful blogger that I thought I would be. I thought I could "easily" blog a few times a week. Obviously that didn't happen.

I never dreamed it would take me so long to post about my October 2010 trip to Uganda, and now it's August 2011 and I have once again traveled to that country I love so much, and yet so much remains unwritten. I want to tell the stories of the trip in June. I want to tell about what God has been doing.

I want to blog more faithfully, but honestly I'm not going to stress about it. I've realized that my desire to produce and get things done can cause me to lose focus on more important things. Wanting to "just get this done real quick" leads me to produce instead of invest in the people in my life. I start off watching a movie with my brother and end up distracted with painting picture frames. I'm sorry, JR! Or I clip coupons while Skyping with my sister. I'm sorry, Bekah!

I want the people in my life to know that they're more important than stuff, whatever that stuff is. They're more important, because it's just a house....or it's just a picture frame...or it's just money.

My possessions or accomplishments or checklists don't matter. Obviously, the people in my life are more important. If you were to ask me, I'd tell you that without hesitation. But I've been realizing that I have a tendency to not back my words up with actions. I think "I can just do/clean/fix/paint do this real quick and then get back to _____." And maybe I can do something quick and get back to that person or what we're doing. But what does that say about my priorities?

I want to learn to be with the people in my life without worrying about doing. I think that it's going to take some time and it's not going to be an easy fix. I like being busy and I have a hard time sitting still, but I need to fight that tendency, because my family and friends are more important. They're infinitely more important.

Speaking of people in my life, this awesome guy and have been officially dating for 5 months tomorrow -

To celebrate he's taking me to dinner in Wilmington (as long as Hurricane Irene doesn't come sooner than expected). It's things like this that are really important. :-) 

Tomorrow also marks the one-year anniversary of this post - http://allyouwantmetobe.blogspot.com/2010/08/what-if-we-make-it-about-dating.html

So I will be trying to blog more. But if I don't, it's because I'm learning to show with my actions that infinitely more important than most of the things I do are the people I am so blessed to have in my life.

School Day...

I don’t like that it’s taken me this long to write about what God let me experience in Uganda. I think that part of the delay is that I don’t feel like I’ve truly processed it all, but maybe I never will. I know that my time in Uganda has changed me, and I don’t want to go back to the girl that I used to be.

I had gotten to meet Wycliffe, one of Pastor Edward’s older children the day before, but on Tuesday I was going to go the schools, hoping that they would be the schools that his children attended. I was very excited! Pastor Edward and the rest of his family used to all live in Bukaleba, but the mosquitoes were so bad that his family was constantly suffering from malaria, and he moved his family, except for the oldest children, closer to Jinja.

When we got back to Bukaleba on Tuesday morning, I played just a little bit with the children while we waited to go to the schools. Ashley told me that she has since learned that Bukaleba is one of the very poorest and sickest areas of Uganda. Even just the little bit that I saw was heartbreaking.

While we waited, I got to meet Juliet, one of Pastor Edward’s adopted daughters. It was amazing to meet someone I’d been praying for and loving for almost a year!


I went out with Josh, Pastor Edward, Isaac, and maybe a few others to the first school, Bishop Hannington Primary School. While we waited in the headmistress’s office, I saw that there 800 children who attended the school, and according to the calculations on a poster on the wall, they had a budget of $1,200. TOTAL. $1,200. The headmistress had been at a funeral, so we waited a few minutes for her to get back, but when she did we went outside where the teachers had assembled all of the students outside. They looked SO cute in their blue uniforms. We did songs for them, and I gave my testimony about overcoming fear. As I ended, I said “Webale nyo. Katonda Akuwe Omukisa.” Which means, “Thank you very much. God bless you.” I had 800 children in front of me nearly rolling with laughter. I thought I must have said something wrong, and I quickly sat down. I leaned over to ask Pastor Edward what I had said wrong, but he said that they only laughed because it was funny to hear words in their language spoken from a “mzungu.” Josh presented the Gospel and literally hundreds of children got saved! It was awesome!

A friend of mine had generously donated about 2 dozen soccer balls for us to take, and we had enough to give one to each school. I had hidden the ball in my backpack, and after we were done we said that we had gifts. We handed a plastic grocery bag full of paper and other school supplies to the head mistress, and when I pulled out the soccer ball, there was SHRIEKING. They cheered SO loud! Each of them was so grateful for just a simple soccer ball to share with 799 others.



We walked back to the bus with 800 children following us and wanting to touch us.

When we got back on the bus, we ate our lunch while we rode to the next school, which was a secondary school (high school). Pastor Edward told me that it wasn’t the school that his children were at, so I was obviously disappointed but I tried to put that behind me and focus on the students that were there.

Our interpreters went in to talk to the school officials and tell them that we had arrived, but they said that that they didn't know we were coming and the students were on their lunch break, so we could only have 15 minutes when they were ready for us. We waited on the bus for them to be ready, and two girls came up to the bus window that I was sitting next to. They smiled shyly, and I held up my camera and asked them if they wanted me to take a picture. They nodded and giggled when they saw the result. I have yet to meet someone in Uganda who did not like getting their picture taken.

We went inside to talk to the students, which was different from what I had done before. I’d also never been to a secondary school, and I was surprised by how much smaller it was. I don’t know if they didn’t bring all of the students to listen to us, but there were only 30-40 students in the room. Knowing that our time was short, we only did one song, and I gave my testimony again on fear. Again, my “Katonda Akuwe Omukisa” brought squeals of laughter. When Josh presented the Good News, about 20 students accepted Jesus as their Savior! God is so good! One of the girls that I had taken a picture of got saved!

As we were talking, it started pouring outside, so our time got extended. We did some more songs, and just like at the secondary school there was lots of cheering for the soccer balls.

On the way back to the village to meet up with the rest of our team, Pastor Edward told me and Josh that he was going to paint us black with shoe polish so that we would look like true Ugandans. He still tells me that he has “Kiwi” shoe polish waiting for me when I come back in June. :-) I love that sweet, sweet man so dearly.

When we got back to Bukaleba, I got to see Juliet. She said that her brothers and sisters had come to the village on their lunch break to see Pastor Edward and to meet me, but we were not there. I was extremely disappointed. Juliet was with a crowd of smaller children, and she helped me to tell them my name, and they all laughed as I tried to copy her accent and speak to them. I didn’t get to say much, even to her, but it was an unforgettable experience to feel a bond with someone that I barely knew.

At the guest house that night we had a tea party for our interpreters and all of the others who had made our stay so wonderful. It was so nice to be able to see our friends relax and eat and enjoy themselves. We were able to give them little gift bags with hats, t-shirts, soaps, etc. and it was just a very precious night.

I didn’t write anything else in my journal about the trip or the ride home, except a prayer that I wrote out. I might share that later. I think that I was just overwhelmed because it was so hard to leave. Every time I go to Uganda and come home, I feel like I leave pieces of my heart scattered all over the beautiful country.

... Like Heaven

I’m going to be honest…. I’ve been scared to write about this day. It was a day so full of meaning, so full of significance, so full of God’s presence. I am afraid of not doing it justice, but 6 months is long enough to be scared.

On Monday, we got to sleep in and leave for Bukaleba at 9, which really meant 10. When I came down for breakfast, though, there was a little boy at the table. Pastor Mark introduced him as Moses, and I found out that he was from the orphanage, and he had been brought into town that morning for his treatment because he is HIV positive. He was very quiet and reserved, but he opened up more and more as Pastor Mark shared his pancakes and we all gave him lots of attention and love.

While we waited in the yard, we finally saw a monkey!

The pastors in Uganda have become like awesome uncles to me. They watch over me but they’re not afraid to tease me. They are also very aware of the fact that I am 25 and not married. So while we waited, Pastor Edward told me that I needed to pick a date that I was going to be married. He told me, “Just say ‘By this date, I will be married!’” I just laughed and told him that I was trusting God to bring the right man at the right time. Pastor Omar promptly told me to wait and marry his son. All of the pastors who knew him laughed, and then I found out that his son is 7 or 8 years old.

We drove out to Bukaleba, and first we stopped at the site for the secondary school and walked around. It was a beautiful place! Words just don’t do it justice. It’s exciting to think of all of the children that will soon be filing these buildings!

After this, we drove to the Bukaleba guest house and the site for the primary school. From there, we could see a building about a quarter of a mile away and the sound of children laughing. When we heard that it was the orphanage, we asked if we could walk there, and we set off across a small field to get to it.

As we got closer, we heard the sounds of children laughing and playing. All I could think was “this sounds like heaven.”

We didn’t even make it through the doorway before we had kids swarming our legs to give us hugs. I dropped to the floor a few feet in front of the door.

Before I go further, I have to tell a story. Rewind about 5 years, and I was listening to a sermon as I drove home to Boone from Raleigh while I was just here on an internship. The pastor was talking about rhythms in our lives, and he kept using the word “cadence.” I just rewound him saying the word over and over again and I fell in love with it not just as a word, but as a name. I knew God was telling me something, and I feel sure that on that car ride I knew that someday I was going to have a girl and I was going to name her Cadence, and call her Cadie (say it like “Cay-dee”… I’m not really sure how to spell it).

So when I walked through the door of the orphanage, I immediately had a little boy attached to my legs. I sat on the floor and laughed with him, tickled him, and smiled at him. I asked his name, and I almost cried when I heard them say “Cay-dee.”

 

Really, his name is spelled Cade. He is being adopted by a family in the U.S., and they gave him the name Cade. In Uganda, though, they have been pronouncing it “Cay-Dee.” I don’t believe in accidents. It was a beautiful, surreal moment. Of all the children to greet me, it was this one. I know that was God-designed.

My words are truly failing me… I can’t even explain how beautiful that day was.

For the next long while, I played with Cade, Susan, and Johnny on the floor. I just tickled them, smiled at them, and laughed. It didn’t matter that we had just met, that we couldn’t speak the same language… it just mattered that we were there together. We were on the covered patio where they eat and play, and all around the space our team was playing with babies. I looked around and thought that it was the closest to heaven that I’ve ever been.

 

 

The orphanage is by no means fancy. If it was here in the U.S. we would probably turn up our noses at it. But it’s clean, it’s safe, and it gives them a home. Compared to the squalor that we had seen, it was paradise.It was still heartbreaking to know that these children go to bed at night without a mommy and daddy. It's not the way it should be. But God our God is good, and these children are safe. They are fed, clothed, and cared for. They will be able to go to school. They know that God loves them, and in that day we were able to tell them that we love them too.

 

After a while of playing, it was time for the children’s lunch, so we went to the bus to eat our lunch. When they were done eating, they were taken inside for a nap, and we tried to stay out of the way while the “aunties” there tried to settle them down and get them to sleep.

While the children were sleeping, most of the ladies organized the clothes and started getting the children (one by one) woken up and dressed in new clothes. Those precious babies came out looking so cute!

 

They had it down to a science so they didn’t need my help; I wandered outside to where Kelly and Tasha were working on getting information together on each of the children (questions and pictures), and I loved watching them at work. The children were coming outside for these interviews after they were dressed in their new clothes, but the problem was that they were too sleepy while they were trying to talk to them and take pictures!

So I got the best job in the world -- I was the warm-up act. After the children were dressed, they would come to me, and I would play with while Tasha and Kelly were interviewing one, and then they would take the one that I had played with and I would get another sleepyhead.

The first child that I got was James. I just walked around with him and talked to him. He was still very sleepy so I just gently told him what I could in Lugandan - that I loved him and that Jesus loved him. The only thing I could get out of him was “Mmmm….” But as I held him I felt a special bond.

After James, I got to play with Susan, Sharif, and Ivan. By this time, most of the children were awake and it was no longer a one-on-one situation, so we played soccer as a bigger group, then we did some songs, had a story, and then did coloring. After their coloring, they had their snack of porridge.

While the children drank their porridge, I went to ask Tasha and Kelly which of the children didn’t have sponsors. I'd known I was going to start sponsoring a child, but I really wanted to wait until we were there... I'd just felt God telling me to wait. They told me that James didn’t have a sponsor, and I couldn’t remember which one he was at first (we had learned a LOT of names that day, let alone that week!), but I knew as soon as they said his name that I was supposed to sponsor him. I walked back to the children and realized which one James was. I knew that he was the one that God had picked out for me to sponsor.

Pastor Edward’s older children are in school at Bukaleba, and his adopted son Wycliffe came to see us at the orphanage. It was so amazing to finally meet the children that I had heard about and prayed for! He told me that the next day he hoped I would meet the rest of his children, because we would be back in Bukaleba (the village, not the orphanage), and his children were going to come from school to the church to see him and meet me!

The whole afternoon is hazy to me, like it’s a wonderful dream. We played with the children, loved them, smiled and laughed, danced and sang.

 

I got to hold James… I just held him and didn’t want to let go. I had spent a lot of time with Susan, also, but I noticed that she looked sad. Pastor Nelson told me that it was because she was sad I was paying attention to James and not her. I sat down so that I could hold them both, and thanked God over and over that I was in that place in that moment.

 Now, in a day full of awesome, wonderful things, one thing was the most powerful. I was called “Auntie” several times that day, and one of the pastors had told me earlier in the week that I was a mother to many children.

But that day, October 11, 2010, I was called “Mama.”

After I wrote it in my journal, I just wrote “wow.” That’s all I can say now. Wow.

I have babies in Uganda. When I pray, I pray for my children and my babies. Even if God never lets me bring one back to the United States, I know that in my heart I have babies in Uganda.

“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” – John 14:18

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” – James 1:27

Sunday in Uganda

First, I’m sorry it took me so long to write again. I guess it’s hard to think about finishing writing about the trip to Uganda, because then it’s somehow more “over.” Even as I write that it doesn’t really make sense, but that’s the only reason I have, so there you go. So…Sunday…

On Sunday, we split up and went in small groups to different churches. I’d asked on Friday if I could go to Pastor Edward’s church. Last year, I had gone to a different church and his children were disappointed that they didn’t get to meet me, and this year I really wanted to meet them! So when we left at around 10, we all got on the bus, and the first stop was Bukaya Baptist Church, where I got out with Tonja, Tasha, and Josh.

When we got to the church, Pastor Robert was already in the middle of his Sunday school lesson, so we got to listen to him, and then we sang a handful of songs. After that, they took an offering, and then they announced that Sister Helen was going to come forward to bring a word.

To say that I was nervous would be an understatement. I’d been speaking in front of hundreds of kids all week, but this made my knees shake. I had prayed that God would speak through me, because on my own I had nothing to say that could help them. But I knew that God could use me to speak to them. As I had prayed about what to talk about in the days before, I had felt God pressing it on my heart to tell them about what he’s been teaching me – to be strong and courageous. I know it’s absurd. What can I teach them about being strong and courageous? Every day of their lives requires so much of them, and I live a life of comfort and privilege. But I know that God saved me from fears, and I know that He is making me strong and courageous, and if He is doing that for me, I know that He can do that for them. (I’ll share what I shared with them in another post.)

When I was done speaking, we sang several more songs, and then Tasha and Tonja both gave their testimonies, and Josh spoke. I hadn't heard Tonja and Tasha give their testimonies, and it was so amazing to hear from them! It was so great, too, to hear Josh speak since I had been with the kids all week and hadn’t gotten to hear any of our pastors speak!

At one point in the service, Pastor Robert welcomed the visitors. He asked the visitors to stand up, give greetings, and tell whether or not they were saved. The eyes of all of the Americans in the room immediately got bigger. I thought that surely he was joking.

But he wasn’t.

Several visitors stood up, gave greetings, and told where they were from, what had brought them to Bukaya that day, and whether or not they were saved – yes, one lady stood up in front of the whole church and said that she was not yet saved, and sat right back down. I love their honesty!

At another point in the service, a young man at the back of the church started singing a song that said “This is the day of Bukaya… we are going to the next level…” and then it repeated. It was clear, though, that most of the people in the church weren’t familiar with it. I loved his enthusiasm as he encouraged us ALL to sing along with him, but it was hard not to giggle as we sang the same words over and over. We asked Josh to please sing it at Journey – “This is the day of Journey church… we are going to the next level.” We’re still waiting on that one.

I wanted to share the funny parts, but I don’t want to take away from how incredible that morning was. These brothers and sisters across the world are meeting in a classroom, sitting at small, cramped desks on a mud floor, and they are rejoicing in their God. Their enthusiasm in worship is like nothing I have ever seen. When they had an offering, these people who struggle to have enough to even eat gave. They know what it means to worship, to love God, to serve Him, to lose it all and yet gain.

Pastor Godfrey was giving announcements, and he reminded them about fasting. They fast the last week of every month – 5 days straight, and then they have an all-night of prayer on Friday night. I sometimes struggle to pray for more than 10 minutes… and they pray all night. 

People think that we go there to teach, but we learn. They think that we go to give, but we get so much more than we give.

This video says it better than I can -- please click here to watch it. 

After church, I got to meet 5 of Pastor Edward’s children – Gershom, Aaron, and Miriam, (his youngest three children by birth) Lashidi, and Joshua. I hugged Mama Joy and tried to talk to the children, but they weren’t very interested in talking to me. Maybe next time :-)

The bus (with the rest of our team) came to pick us back up, and we all went to the Nile Resort for lunch. It was wonderful to sit and relax and just enjoy being together. I got to play with Joshua, Joseph, and Emma. Pastor Godfrey told me that since I’m good with kids, I need a good husband to give me many children. I said that sounded good as long as that means I can bring some children home from Uganda!

We have to wear closed toed shoes while we’re in the villages because of bugs, but that day I had brought a pair of flip-flops in my backpack so that I could change shoes after church and wear flip-flops at the resort. While we were waiting to go outside to eat, I sat at a bench and started changing my shoes. Sweet Joshua came over to me and said “Oh! You have flip-flops? That’s wonderful! I don’t have flip-flops!” It was like a punch in the gut. The flip-flops I was wearing were $1 at Wal-Mart. My friend in Uganda doesn’t have flip-flops… he has one pair of shoes. I see the children in the village without shoes, but this little boy is my friend. I don’t know what else to say, except that I never want to get to the point where I forget how blessed we are, and what a responsibility we have to help our brothers and sisters.